01/07/98
| I find this a very difficult question to answer for a variety of reasons. I don't have any particular memory of any one year, but a grouping of my favorite holiday traditions, like opening a present on Xmas eve, and sitting in the glow of the christmas tree lights, and things like that. But all my family traditions are no longer really. To come right to the point, I am very out of the Christmas spirit this year, for a variety of reasons. My life with mother sucks, to make a long story short. I am very mad at her and I am sick of her taking advantage of me. My dad refuses to talk to my mother like a normal person most of the time, and merely comes home to go to sleep. My godparents failed to stand up for me while I was home last time, but rather decided to kiss my mother's ass instead of saying the truth. So basically, home life is not conducive to having myself a merry little christmas. | I am very mad at her and I am sick of her taking advantage of me. |
We would have fun doing the dumbest of stuff and I could look forward to just hanging around with everybody on Christmas. |
I miss the way my psuedo-family used to be. We were never the Huxtebels or Ozzie and Harriet but we were a unit, somehow. We all respected one another and we were all more like friends than relatives, which I always liked. We would have fun doing the dumbest of stuff and I could look forward to just hanging around with everybody on Christmas. Now its a strain of who is talking to whom, and what you can't say around this person, we don't have money to be buying presents like this, or dumb things like that. We used to have company christmas parties (my parents run their own businesses) but that is no longer. My mom and I used to make cookies and cakes for our friends, but that is no longer too. Sending christmas cards used to instantly put me in the noel mood, but my mother has made that an oppressive chore of obligation. |
Maybe I am cynical because I won't get to see Eliott over break, but that really isn't it. I am just sick of my life being screwed up bu things I can't change. I am a kid at heart, and it is killing me to be hating the thought of going home for christmas. Our christmas tree isn't even up. I'm sorry to ruin the christmas spirit for you readers out there, but I can't help but be honest. Anyway, Happy Holidays and I wish the best for all of you! :)
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