2/26/98
Now this was an interesting week. It all started last weekend, when I was sick with the flu and couldn't go skiing with Veronica, Quinn, and Elliot. As I may have previously mentioned, Quinn and I were both rather upset that he couldn't stay over on Sunday night, but Veronica assured us that Sarah (her roommate) would kill her slowly and painfully in her sleep if Elliot stayed uninvited. Well, at the time I wasn't thinking very clearly (aren't hormones great?) and I thought she was exaggerating. So did Quinn. He was mad, I was vaguely resentful, and we both felt like Elliot and Veronica weren't giving our relationship the mutual respect that it was due.
| Well, on Tuesday I had lunch with Sarah (as I usually do) and I found out that, well, Veronica wasn't kidding. Sarah is a very private person, and I wonder a LOT why she didn't just get a single this, her senior year. She can't stand surprises, and doesn't want to witness any sort of friskiness. On the one hand, I think that in college, with roommates, you have to deal with that sort of thing, but on the other hand, the roommate has to respect your space and personal moral code. So, the conflict. | Sarah is a very private person, and I wonder a LOT why she didn't just get a single this, her senior year. |
Anyway, Quinn had been irritated with Elliot for this, thinking in some way that it was HIS fault, and said something to their roommate Anthony about it. Anthony told Elliot that Quinn was mad at him. Elliot told Veronica, Veronica got mad at Quinn, things were rather ugly. Veronica and I had a nice long talk about these things and worked out that I frequently feel resentful because I feel powerless because I have no car, but also that sometimes they feel like we take them for granted and are ungrateful, and all this sort of thing. We hashed it out at the Caf, of all places. So, I was worried for a bit that this would come between the four of us, and that would suck in a major way because I'm quite enjoying having this group of friends.
I said in moments of weakness (staring up into his eyes) some rather commitmenty things that make me sort of nervous in retrospect. |
So, then this weekend came, and Quinn and Elliot came up here to W&M for it. Very nice, except that I had a Genetics exam first thing Monday morning, so I had to study on Saturday afternoon and Sunday evening. But it was REALLY nice for Quinn and I to have my single room all to ourselves, and I bet it was nice for Veronica and Elliot to not have us in the room either. We didn't do much of import--we were rather like rabbits, though. Spent a LOT of time in bed. Verrry nice. I said in moments of weakness (staring up into his eyes) some rather commitmenty things that make me sort of nervous in retrospect. I guess I never REALLY thought that I'd fall in love with someone so hard, so fast. And the fact that he's my first boyfriend really makes me wonder if I'm rushing things. But if the shoe fits, steal it, right? (a phrase of mine and Quinn's) |
Then, last night (Monday) we went to the Ben Folds Five concert in Virginia Beach at the Abyss and I had a fantastic time! The music was great, the atmosphere was good, I enjoyed dancing with Quinn. The only not great thing was a guy next to us smoking a cigar, which reeked. But I had a kickass time, but didn't get a heck of a lot of sleep. This morning, Quinn and I took a shower together. This is the first time (a) I've seen him totally naked and (b) we've been naked together. I told him over the weekend that he's far too seriously too tempting, and the shower this morning did NOT help that out. What am I so obliquely talking about? Well, I've been thinking about sex a lot. Here is my dilemma--how is having sex any morally different from what we're doing right now? I'm not going to detail what it is we're doing, but it goes close to as far as one can without actual sexual intercourse. There is no way in HELL that I'd ever have sex without protection--I'm not that dumb--but I'm afraid that if I have some, I'll put my faith in it and plunge right in. (bad phrase--sorry) My feelings on the subject are that I shouldn't do it unless I'm prepared financially and emotionally to deal with the consequences, ie. pregnancy. Well, I'm not right now. But, as my mom said, nature provides us with early puberty and society provides us with late marriage and these things are often in conflict. No shit, Mom. She gave me a TALK on Sunday about such things. She really sums it up well.
So, those are my musings for this week.
until anon,
Lauren
Go forward an entry