January 7, 1997
Theme: Which family member do you get along with the best?
worst?
The Family Jerkus: by Bill Martingale
(since Bill Martingale is on vacation right now, little Billy will be
writing his post for him)
BILL LIKES HIS BROTHER AND BROTHERS IN LAW. EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE ALL
COMPLETE KOOKS, HE HAS SOMETHING DEEP WITH EACH OF THEM. HIS OLDEST
SISTER IS MARRIED TO THIS EXTREMELY INTENSE, HARDCORE LIBERAL GUY. THE
NEXT SISTER IS MARRIED TO AN ALMOST EQUALLY INTENSE, BUT SIGNIFICANTLY
MORE CONSERVATIVE GUY. THESE GUYS GET ALONG, BUT THEY HAVE A TENDENCY TO
CALL EACH OTHER SOME FUN NAMES AT FAMILY GATHERINGS. BECAUSE OF THIS,
BILL'S FAMILY DOESN'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS VERY OFTEN. THE OLDEST
SISTER'S HUSBAND INEVITABLY SAYS SOMETHING REALLY INSULTING ABOUT THE
POLITICAL VIEWS OF JUST ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FAMILY. ITS LOTS OF
FUN. THAT SAME BROTHER-IN-LAW THINKS THAT BILL'S OLDER BROTHER HAS SOLD
HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL (metaphorically of course). HE THINKS THAT ANYONE
WHO SACRIFICES POLITICAL IDEALISM TO THE REALITIES OF EVERYDAY BUSINESS
HAS SOLD HIS SOUL. HE THINKS THAT BILL'S DAD HAS SOLD HIS SOUL TOO. THE
ONLY REASON THAT HE DOESN'T THINK THAT BILL HASN'T SOLD HIS SOUL YET IS
BECAUSE BILL HASN'T HAD A CHANCE TO YET. HE IS CONVINCED THAT AT THE
FIRST OPPORTUNITY, BILL WILL SELL HIS SOUL AND WILL BE LOST FOREVER.
BILL HAS HIM FOOLED...BILL SOLD HIS SOUL A LONG TIME AGO. BILL IS A
MODERATE AND THINKS THAT EVERYBODY HAS THEIR HEAD UP THEIR ASS. BUT BILL
TALKS BOTH SIDES OF THE GAME RATHER WELL, AND SINCE THESE ARE ALL SMART
PEOPLE, BILL LEARNS FROM THEM AND WORKS IT ALL INTO WHO HE IS AS A MAJOR
INFLUENCE.
BILL DOESN'T LIKE HIS COUSIN MUCH. HE GETS ALONG WITH HIM OKAY, AND LIKE
S HIM A LOT BETTER THAN HE USED TO, BUT BILL STILL THINKS HIS COUSIN IS A
POSEUR AND A PUTZ WHO HAS LITTLE OR NO ORIGINAL THOUGHT. GROWING UP,
EVERYTHING BILL LIKED, HIS COUSIN WOULD GET INTO, OFTEN HAVING MORE MONEY
AND TIME TO PUT INTO IT THEN BILL DID. IN THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS, THE
LITTLE BASTARD HAS FINALLY SHOWN SOME SKILLS AND BILL CAN TOLERATE HIM
NOW. BILL'S MOM USED TO TRY TO CONVINCE BILL THAT HIS COUSIN JUST
ADMIRED HIM AND WOULD GROW OUT OF HIS "ANNOYING PHASE." BILL TOLD HIS
MOM THAT WHEN SOMEONE ACTS LIKE THAT FOR 14 YEARS, IT IS NO LONGER A
"PHASE." THAT PERSON IS JUST A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS. BUT BILL IS
COPING BETTER. BILL IS LEARNING TO LOVE HIS COUSIN AND RECOGNIZE THAT
THE LAD IS NOT ALL BAD. MAYBE THE COUSIN IS FINALLY GROWING UP...MAYBE
BILL IS.
LITTLE BILLY
bxmar1@maila.wm.edu
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The Family Jerkus: by Bill Martingale
(since Bill Martingale is on vacation right now, little Billy will be writing his post for him)
BILL LIKES HIS BROTHER AND BROTHERS IN LAW. EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE ALL COMPLETE KOOKS, HE HAS SOMETHING DEEP WITH EACH OF THEM. HIS OLDEST SISTER IS MARRIED TO THIS EXTREMELY INTENSE, HARDCORE LIBERAL GUY. THE NEXT SISTER IS MARRIED TO AN ALMOST EQUALLY INTENSE, BUT SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CONSERVATIVE GUY. THESE GUYS GET ALONG, BUT THEY HAVE A TENDENCY TO CALL EACH OTHER SOME FUN NAMES AT FAMILY GATHERINGS. BECAUSE OF THIS, BILL'S FAMILY DOESN'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS VERY OFTEN. THE OLDEST SISTER'S HUSBAND INEVITABLY SAYS SOMETHING REALLY INSULTING ABOUT THE POLITICAL VIEWS OF JUST ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FAMILY. ITS LOTS OF FUN. THAT SAME BROTHER-IN-LAW THINKS THAT BILL'S OLDER BROTHER HAS SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL (metaphorically of course). HE THINKS THAT ANYONE WHO SACRIFICES POLITICAL IDEALISM TO THE REALITIES OF EVERYDAY BUSINESS HAS SOLD HIS SOUL. HE THINKS THAT BILL'S DAD HAS SOLD HIS SOUL TOO. THE ONLY REASON THAT HE DOESN'T THINK THAT BILL HASN'T SOLD HIS SOUL YET IS BECAUSE BILL HASN'T HAD A CHANCE TO YET. HE IS CONVINCED THAT AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY, BILL WILL SELL HIS SOUL AND WILL BE LOST FOREVER. BILL HAS HIM FOOLED...BILL SOLD HIS SOUL A LONG TIME AGO. BILL IS A MODERATE AND THINKS THAT EVERYBODY HAS THEIR HEAD UP THEIR ASS. BUT BILL TALKS BOTH SIDES OF THE GAME RATHER WELL, AND SINCE THESE ARE ALL SMART PEOPLE, BILL LEARNS FROM THEM AND WORKS IT ALL INTO WHO HE IS AS A MAJOR INFLUENCE.
BILL DOESN'T LIKE HIS COUSIN MUCH. HE GETS ALONG WITH HIM OKAY, AND LIKE S HIM A LOT BETTER THAN HE USED TO, BUT BILL STILL THINKS HIS COUSIN IS A POSEUR AND A PUTZ WHO HAS LITTLE OR NO ORIGINAL THOUGHT. GROWING UP, EVERYTHING BILL LIKED, HIS COUSIN WOULD GET INTO, OFTEN HAVING MORE MONEY AND TIME TO PUT INTO IT THEN BILL DID. IN THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS, THE LITTLE BASTARD HAS FINALLY SHOWN SOME SKILLS AND BILL CAN TOLERATE HIM NOW. BILL'S MOM USED TO TRY TO CONVINCE BILL THAT HIS COUSIN JUST ADMIRED HIM AND WOULD GROW OUT OF HIS "ANNOYING PHASE." BILL TOLD HIS MOM THAT WHEN SOMEONE ACTS LIKE THAT FOR 14 YEARS, IT IS NO LONGER A "PHASE." THAT PERSON IS JUST A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS. BUT BILL IS COPING BETTER. BILL IS LEARNING TO LOVE HIS COUSIN AND RECOGNIZE THAT THE LAD IS NOT ALL BAD. MAYBE THE COUSIN IS FINALLY GROWING UP...MAYBE BILL IS.
LITTLE BILLY
bxmar1@maila.wm.edu
Go forward an
entry
Member of the Internet Link Exchange